The Looking Glass Wars Book Giveaway!

Chance to win a free book, check it out.

Amber Skye Forbes

There was actually a tie between 13 Reasons Why and The Looking Glass Wars, and because I promised to make a choice last night, I wasn’t going to wait around for someone to break the tie. So I just closed my eyes and chose between the two. So, without further ado, The Looking Glass Wars!

The Myth: Alice was an ordinary girl who stepped through the looking glass and entered a fairy-tale world invented by Lewis Carroll in his famous storybook. The Truth: Wonderland is real. Alyss Heart is the heir to the throne, until her murderous aunt Redd steals the crown and kills Alyss? parents. To escape Redd, Alyss and her bodyguard, Hatter Madigan, must flee to our world through the Pool of Tears. But in the pool Alyss and Hatter are separated. Lost and alone in Victorian London, Alyss is befriended by an aspiring author to whom she…

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History Repeating Itself

Talcum powder on black construction paper for ...

Talcum powder on black construction paper for contrast. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As I am getting ready to start on my much overdue spring cleaning I received a phone call from my oldest daughter.  I thought this was a bit odd cause she usually just texts.  The only time that I really see her name show up on my phone as a call is when my grandson(he’s 2) gets a hold of her phone and calls me.  So I am thinking as I answer it “Yay! Tatum is calling me.”

What I hear is a not so happy daughter saying, “You would not believe what your grandson did!”  Note she did not say “my son” or “Tatum” it was “your grandson”.  Uh oh I think this is not good.

Me, “What did he do?”

Daughter, “You know that big bottle of baby powder I just bought the other day?”

Me, “Yes.”

Daughter, “Well he dumped the entire bottle all over my living room!  And he’s covered head to toe, he looks like a ghost with blue eyes.”

I immediately burst out laughing and after catching my breath I ask, “Did you get a picture of him?”

Daughter, “It’s not funny! Why would I take a picture of him?!?”

Me, “I want a picture to add to my collection of baby powder pictures, you know like the one I have of YOU covered head to toe in baby powder.” (giggling)

Daughter, “I forgot about that.”

Then she proceeds to go on about how it won’t come out of furniture, she doesn’t know where to begin, etc….  I stop laughing and remember those feelings of exasperation and that she is tired from nursing a newborn every 2  hours around the clock and trying to take keep up with a 2 yr old at the same time.

It is funny how history has a way of repeating itself from one generation to the next at times.

Needless to say, I need to get off of my computer and pick up a carpet cleaner and head to my daughter’s house to help her out.

A challenge to turn a difficult holiday into something special.

Flowers for your inner child

Flowers for your inner child (Photo credit: Mara ~earth light~)

Mother’s Day is a day that brings warm thoughts and joy to the hearts of many people.  But for those of us that grew up with mean and narcissistic mothers it is not.

I am fortunate to have wonderful children who have throughout their lives have helped me experience warm thoughts and joy on Mother’s Day.  Today is different.  They are all grown up and 3 of them are working today and the 4th is spending it with her dying grandmother in law to be.  I am ok with this, they did not forget me, all called first thing this morning to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day and say I love you.

Between them all being busy today and D working out-of-state I am left to spend the day alone and without the distraction of others around me I started to be bombarded with negative emotions, intrusive thoughts and images of all the horrible things my mother has done over the years.

This is NOT how Mother’s Day is supposed to be spent.  And to be quite honest it pisses me off that at the age of 42 my mother can still ruin my day.  The reality is she isn’t, I am.

So how do I change this?  How do I turn this day around and make it special?  How does anyone that has grown up with a horrible mother keep from spending the day depressed?

As I sat here pondering this thought my loving husband sent me the following text while on a break at work.


This text inspired an idea.

I know that I am not the only one struggling today so I would like to present the following challenge to all those out there who are struggling to get through today.

Mother’s Day Challenge

Imagine what it would have been like or what it would be like if you did have a loving mother.  What NICE things do you think she would have done for you?  Make a list of them, they don’t have to be big things, sometimes the little things are the most special.

Now pick some of them(I recommend at least 3) and DO THESE NICE THINGS FOR YOURSELF TODAY.

Be the loving mother to that hurt child you carry inside you.

My 3 NICE  things I am going to do today are:

1. Make my favorite meal.  2. Paint my fingernails and toe nails. 3. Take myself on a nature walk down by the river and soak up the beauty of it all.

What are your nice things that you will do for yourself today?

Trigger affecting writing

English: Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

English: Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Where has the time gone, I can’t believe it has been a little over a week since I last posted here.  I have been pretty heavily triggered lately which has made it difficult to keep track of time and write.  I have started to write over the past week not just here but every time I start to I find myself in a bit of a panic and then my thoughts are gone.  I am new to this whole feelings thing and writing has been a great way to not only express my feelings but to get them flowing.  Seems that no matter what it is I am writing about feelings start bubbling to my consciousness.  This is a good thing.

Problem is that when I am heavily triggered I tend to get bombarded and overwhelmed with emotions and not the good kind either.  Usually writing helps me process those feelings and eases the sense of being overwhelmed.  Truth is this past week I haven’t wanted to process them I wanted to ignore and forget them.  Thus the panic when I try to write.  Why I have I been so resistant lately?  Not sure but I think that it may be because I have been dealing with an injury(dislocated hip and a bunch of pulled muscles)  this past week and the combination of the physical and emotional was just too much especially since the physical is what has triggered the intrusive thoughts, emotions and flashbacks.

The injury is healing up well and now I am not feeling such a panic when I start to write.  Which means now I can start processing the emotions I have tried to ignore so I can get back to writing.  I really have missed it.  Luckily I have therapy today so S can help me do this.